No Apologies

Today is Father’s Day.

The reason I’m writing this today and not currently spending time with my old man is because of drug addiction.

Let me explain.

If you’ve been following me for a while then you may already know that my brother, Mike, is a drug addict. Recently he’s went through a pretty extensive rehab facility and made some significant progress. He’s now been clean for maybe nine months or so. In comparison to the 15 years he’s lived as an addict, nine months isn’t very long, however I’m proud of the progress he’s made up to this point.

Unfortunately, Mike has seemingly taken a step in the wrong direction and off of his path to sobriety. He moved out of his sober living house and back in with my old man. He’s already had “a drink” and is talking like his addictions to substances don’t exist. His old, ignorant attitude is back, and sadly I know where this behavior will eventually lead.

Maybe I’m jumping the gun. I hope I am. But I’ve been around this shit long enough to see the patterns.

My father has been a contributing factor to Mike’s addiction, which stems back to childhood. The truth is, although my father has always meant well in his own distorted way, he has lead Mike further and further down the path of destruction. Allowing my brother to move back in with him after all of these years is the way he’s currently contributing to Michael’s demise. This move happened unbeknownst to me and kept hidden from me by my own flesh and blood.

With all of that said, my Father’s Day celebration wasn’t necessarily what anyone had hoped for. It turned into arguing and hurtful things said in many different directions.

Nonetheless, I’m extremely saddened by all of this, but I’m not writing this article for sympathy.

I’m writing this article to thank you.

I want to thank you for taking the time to read my work.

I want to thank you for taking my advice on your health and fitness.

I want to thank you for your support and giving me the platform I need to live my passion to help people.

You are my family, and you mean more to me than you have any idea. In many ways you have helped me get through the tough times in my life by allowing me to lend a helping hand.

I celebrate Father’s Day by writing to you, in hopes that my story can inspire you in some way. Because we are all going through something, but it doesn’t have to hold you back from becoming who you’re meant to be.

The pain I experience only continues to motivate me to get better. It has opened my eyes to the pain that you might be going through, and I encourage you to use that pain as fuel to move forward in becoming who you want to be.

Use it to live unapologetically.

To grow.

To evolve.

To help those who are in need.

I know that I have done all I can to help my brother battle his demons, the rest is up to him. I have no apologies or regrets in how I’ve handled this situation. I can rest my head on my pillow at night knowing that I’ve done all I can.

And in your situation that’s all you can do too. You can do your best, that’s all. The rest is out of your hands. You can’t control other people, and you can only help those who are willing to accept it.

Pain isn’t always a bad thing because it generates growth. In training you push through the pain of fatigue and the muscle will grow. It’s the same in life. Your mind can adapt and respond in a positive way, allowing you to handle more shit that comes your way. It just depends on how you choose to let it affect you, because for good or bad it will affect you in one way or another.

Whenever I’m going through a tough time in my life I like to sit back and reflect on the things I do have, and less on the things that I don’t. One of the best things I have in my life are true friendships. People who give a shit, and a community of people who support me. Without them, getting through these difficult situations would be much more challenging and my life would not be as fulfilling.

What do you have in your life that you can appreciate? Think about whatever that is whenever you’re going through a difficult moment.

And just know that you can always turn to me, as I have turned to you many times.

Pain in life is inevitable. Suffering, however, is a choice.

You do not have to fall victim to the problems you face. You can use them as the required resistance in which will stimulate growth. Accept the hand you’re dealt and do what is necessary to turn a handicap into an asset.

It’s never too late to start a new beginning. You can reinvent yourself at any given moment.

In one of my favorite songs by Eminem, “No Apologies” he says…

“My head hits the pillow, a weeping willow, I can’t sleep, a pain so deep it bellows, but these cellos help just to keep me mellow, hands on my head, touched knees to elbows, I’m hunched over, emotion just flows over these cold shoulders…”

“As long as there’s still this hunger and will in me then expect a longer life expectancy… I’d be a savage beast if I didn’t have this outlet to salvage me inside, I’d be exploding, soaked in self-loathing and mourning… I’m really a sheep in wolves clothing.”

What has caused you the type of pain that keeps you awake at night?

What has been your outlet in dealing with that pain?

What do you desire so badly that you will give everything in your heart for?

In the past, the pain caused by my brother’s addiction has kept me awake. My outlet has been training, martial arts, spending time with good friends and helping other people.

I strongly urge you to find a healthy way to cope with the hardships you face. I firmly believe that having a physical outlet and helping other people are the absolute best ways to deal with the pain and hardships of life.

You too can learn, grow, evolve and use the hand you were dealt to inspire others and help those in need.

Give back and make it a goal to help others.

Tell your story; you never know who’s listening…

 


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